Married To A Tech Junkie
POSTED: 6:23 pm EDT May 25,
2005
WASHINGTON -- Technology is supposed to give us all more time, more information and the opportunity to be in touch with anyone, anytime, anywhere in the world.But, as News4's Shannon Bream found out, it could actually leave us disconnected from the ones closest to us.
Take a look around millions of homes in America and you'll see a jumble of wires and gadgets aimed at making life easier, such as MP3 players, XM radio, Tivo recorders, computers of all sizes, Blackberry organizers and, of course, cell phones.Kurt Westerfeld's demanding job means he's serving clients worldwide, so he's never out of touch. That makes him among the 140 million Americans tied to a cell phone."It's very bad. His cell phone's on 24/7 -- dinnertime, vacation, weekends, parties -- he has to answer the phone," his wife, Melanie Westerfeld said.Melanie Westerfeld got so fed up she found a creative way to hang up on Kurt's connections."We had to go on a vacation where there was no cell phone coverage, so I scheduled a vacation to be on a cruise. His cell phone would not work. His Blackberry would not work," Melanie Westerfeld said."It's terrible. I can't function without it," Kurt Westerfeld said.Dr. Jonathan Kandell, the head of counseling services at the University of Maryland, said it's a matter of you controlling the technology instead of the other way around."The technology itself is not bad or good," Dr. Jonathan Kandell said.Nearly 75 percent of American households with a phone line have Internet access, which is one of the most addictive technologies, according to Kandell.Research shows techies can actually develop a bona fide addiction, complete with painful withdrawal symptoms."Many of the same feelings do occur and it's very much an emptiness and a loneliness," Kandell said.Julia and Leif Ulstrup have worked hard to find ways to fight the technology temptation, but she knew years ago she was getting into a high tech marriage."I knew straight up, from the beginning, he was always a tech lover," Julia Ulstrup said.Still - that doesn't mean she shares his passion for being on the cutting edge."Once I start to get used to one of the technologies that we have, all of a sudden he wants to upgrade. It's either learning to use a new piece of equipment, which I usually resist, or it's upgrading the computer and I have to say every computer meltdown we have had is associated with an upgrade," Julia Ulstrup said.Both families, the Westerfelds and the Ulstrups, admit the technology actually gives them a larger quantity of time together, if not always the quality."That's part of what makes my life work. If I can come home and I'm still connected I can spend those critical hours at the end of the day with my family and still be connected and then in the evening I can get back to work," Kurt Westerfeld said.Although both Julia and Melanie are quick to say their husbands are the techies, they admit it has rubbed off on them. They said they can't imagine life without their own gadgets, like their cell phones.The complaints most typically do come from wives, and the digital divide seems to have deep roots. According to a study by the Engineering Workforce Commission, 84 percent of the computer engineering degrees awarded in 2003 went to men.
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